Sleepiest cabinet member ever.

Serenity now.

How it feels going back to work on Monday.

Finally, an explanation for this song's ubiquity.

Textbook definition.

You mess with Santa, you get the coal.

You can't always get what you want.

Thanks, Alanis Morissette. Isn't it ironic? Don'tcha think?

It's a dilemma of legacy.

One step forward, two steps back.

Find the things for which you're thankful.

How rude.

To get to the truth, we need to pop our bubbles.

Thanks for nothing.

We definitely need a little Christmas. Right this very minute.

Fewer pundits and speculation and more "news" in our "news."

Seriously, take a minute and fact-check it before you share it.

If you listen, people will tell you what sort of person they are.

Overlooked again. I demand a recount.

Let's do the math.