It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

Me, every time I pay the health insurance bill plus bills from doctors.

I second that emotion.

Even more intimate?

An example, "I only hire THE BEST people!"

The joys of family togetherness.

No wonder people believe the world is flat.

Investigate, but stop jumping to conclusions.

This was a vote for votes.

It helps if you don't have to tell me how to pronounce it.

Watermelon farmers.

A zig a zig ah.

GOP, you literally had SEVEN YEARS to come up with a doable plan!

Be careful what your defense implies.

I honestly believe McCain was doing the right thing defending Obama, but didn't realize what the defense to the argument implies. "Arab" and "decent family man" are not mutually exclusive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrnRU3ocIH4

How high do the percentages go?

I know, so unrealistic: Trump reading a newspaper...

The little things can mean a lot.

Yes, opinions can be wrong.

Comedy equals tragedy plus time.

It's more accurate, too.