A zig a zig ah.

GOP, you literally had SEVEN YEARS to come up with a doable plan!

Be careful what your defense implies.

I honestly believe McCain was doing the right thing defending Obama, but didn't realize what the defense to the argument implies. "Arab" and "decent family man" are not mutually exclusive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrnRU3ocIH4

How high do the percentages go?

I know, so unrealistic: Trump reading a newspaper...

The little things can mean a lot.

Yes, opinions can be wrong.

Comedy equals tragedy plus time.

It's more accurate, too.

Napping increases productivity.

Modern life conspires against motivation.

I'm the guy on the left.

Always someone to ruin the party.

Can you break up with an empire via text?

Don't be that guy.

How can every company have the best people?

How we treat other people.

Sometimes the simplest answers are the best.

If everyone else is doing it, why can't I?

A dog's least favorite night.